Yay!!! Finally a day off and I am so glad it happen to fall on a Sunday. I feel I have spent my day well rested, full of laughter and much refreshed! I got up to attend church this morning just like I have been doing all the other Sunday mornings in the past. My week just does not feel complete unless I can go and worship. Its part of my life now and I am so glad we live in a country where we are able to worship openly and freely. I would first like to thank my friend here at training who loaned me her car to go to church. It was a very nice gesture.
The church I attended had a very large church but it was beautiful and breathtaking inside. I found someone to show me the way to the worship center, I took a bulletin, found my seat and settled in as if I had been there a million times before. It was a great message about Love, studying the book of Ephesians Chapter 5. My blog isn’t so much about what I did today on my day off but what I experienced personally. It may not be anything someone wants to read and it may be something that touches the right persons life. I don’t know. I just know that it has been a desire tonight to share with you what I am feeling.
You know, sometimes just being a Christian is hard. Christianity can have its positives and its negatives. If you grow up being taught that church is hell fire, damnation and all is evil and no good or if you were brought up to know only God’s grace, love and forgiveness and not know about the other than no wonder people are confused when they try to figure it all out. Know what I mean? It is like the two worlds collide at some point in life and then all confusion sets in. I am thankful I was brought up to know all sides of Christ, the church and how it all comes together but it is unfortunate that some people don’t know any of this.
I have finally come to know why reading the Bible is so hard. It has boundaries. It sets boundaries for us and even as little ones growing up, we didn’t much like the boundaries our parents put on us but we tried to obey them as well. Reading the Bible is about the same way. It sets boundaries for us as Christian’s…and well, we don’t like boundaries..remember? So say for instance that while things in your life is going well…great even…and you find your scripture in the Bible that pertains to what is going on with you, then its all good. Now lets say you are going through something that is hard for you to accept. Maybe its dealing with forgiveness or say ummmm…..a relationship that is wrong for you. Ahhhh…now a nerve has been touched. God’s word tells us where our boundary is but we don’t want to listen because whatever we are doing, we are doing it our way. How selfish we are. How selfish I am. We have all been there. We like doing our own thing. It is human nature but the good thing is that God knows this about us. That is why He gave us His son, Jesus.
Just as Jesus become sweet as a fragrance to God, so do we once we accept Jesus as our personal savior. It changes everything about us….and please don’t ask me exactly what that is. We all have our own lifestyles, our own personal struggles so that is hard for me to answer. I can tell you from my personal experiences that it is LIFE TRANSFORMATION!. Your life will not be grand or perfect. As a matter of fact, you will still have stumbles, days you wanna pull your hair out and days you just don’t care to talk to a soul. It happens. I was there yesterday….all day.
The most amazing thing I have learned in the last 24 hours is that we have to go there. Jesus wants us to go there. Yes, I said He wants us to go there…sounds silly but let me explain. When we are in the lowest part of life, in the midst of a bad day, having a hard time finding encouragement…that is where we walk with Jesus. In that valley. We find redemption there. Christianity is a fight…every day. It isn’t to make it sound like it’s a bad thing but if you are a Christian and you are just cruising along in life and you don’t struggle with things, or you don’t feel you need to be closer to God (no matter how long you have been a Christian or where you are with your walk in your life) then you just don’t get it yet. You really don’t. You have to face things about yourself you don’t want to face and they are painful at times. It is before you come to Christ that you do what you want and when you come to Christ, ask Jesus to be your personal savior, come into your heart and forgive you of your sins…well, the Holy Spirit says you can’t do those old things you use to do anymore and that is where the fight comes in. You have to seek Him daily and know that it is worth the fight!!
I was in that fight yesterday. Oh my Lord, I thought I was going to pull my hair out. I wanted nothing to do with people for a while. I just wanted to hug my kids and cry. Its real life and it happens. I am an open book. I have learned that private morality and social morality is the same in God’s eyes. He see’s no difference. So basically whatever you do in private that you think you are hiding from the rest of the world, and whatever you are doing that is a mask to the social world…its all out in the open with God. I am happy to be someone who is exactly what you see. Today I was told that people are drawn to me and they want to be around me. It really made me feel good but I do hope they can see the love in my heart, the sincerity in my conversations and the genuine care I have for people!!
Today I received an email from a family member that I had been longing to receive for a long time now. It seemed as if my waiting was forever and I had to keep telling myself that on God’s time, it will happen. When I got out of church, I happen to check my emails. There it was. The email I had hoped to see. I can’t tell you how many tears I shed over waiting for it, how many times I had prayed about it and after being in constant prayer…there it was. It was the highlight of my day. God does provide for you but you have to allow Him to do that. He is changing my life so much that I find it hard to recognize the old life I had. I am still me but a new, better, refined me. That is pretty awesome!! I am so glad my day turned out to be so delightful and restful. What was your day like??
Love, Hugs & Smiles