It has been awhile since I have written a blog post. Life has been busy with my new career and trying to figure out how to make it work for me and my family. I have also been missing my routine blog postings because that is where I find a lot of how to express myself…in my writing. It is like therapy to me in some weird way. It is how I express myself in my thoughts and how I feel about many things. Another reason for the delay in writing, is that I have been struggling with what to write about and what I want to share with others. I didn’t know exactly why I was feeling so blank in my head but upon a couple of conversations recently, I realized that I have been too caught up in myself, my work situation, my personal life and feeling sappy about the lifestyle adjustment that I have been given. I have not taken the time to really think about how it was affecting others. I was not REALLY thinking about how God wants to use me to share with others, to be of service to them and be of service to my Heavenly Father while I am doing this job. I thought that I was okay but honestly, I have done nothing but complain about some things lately. I have complained, been a downer to talk to…and basically having a pity party for myself to which no one was attending but myself. Sounds fun huh?? No, not at all. Not fun for me, not fun for those who love me and are surrounded by me. So, if you would bare with me while I share with you what I have learned through this experience, that would be awesome!
So, what do you do when this happens in your life? You stop it. You stop it quickly because its not safe to be feeling this way. Our Father in heaven has such greater things for us to accomplish than feeling sorry for ourselves. So, the first thing to do to move beyond it is to not go back, to apologize for the actions you have had and then move on. How do you move on? Well, last time I checked (which was very recently) God can do amazing things in your life if you just let Him! Today I was on my knees praying and asking Him to take this pity party I had created for myself and do away with it, to forgive me for falling to the ways of Satan’s plan which was to bring me down and place self-doubt in my mind. I have been trying so hard to absorb all the changes that have been in my life that I took my eyes off my Savior and that is what Satan wanted. It may of only been for a moment that I turned my eyes and maybe I didn’t even realize I was doing it but that is when Satan comes in stealth mode. It was then that the self doubt, pity party and so forth kicked in. I said to myself that I need time alone with God with nothing to prove, nothing to do, nothing to say but be still and be in God’s word. Victory was mine this afternoon when I said no more of this mess. Does it mean that the coming days will be easy? Of course not because Satan knows he isn’t winning but I know that all I have to do is call God’s name and He is here. Just like I called out to Him today.
I share this with you publicly because I know that it can happen to anyone and I want whoever is reading this and may be going through something similar, that you don’t have to go through this alone. You have a greater power to turn to the one who can do amazing things for you because it is by His sacrifice that we have the greatest gift to ever be given. I also know that I am growing in my walk with God each day….even when things are seeming a bit dim and I may feel like I am in the lowest valley. When things like this happens, I am learning how to turn to scripture, how to know and never doubt that the love He has for me is so real. God holds all the answers for everything we need in this life. We just have to trust Him. The last several weeks, I have not been myself and I am so sorry for that. The life that my Heavenly Father breathed into me, gave me and allows me to have daily is the life that I am going to rejoice and be thankful for each and every moment. He created me, He knows me better than I know myself and He also knows what I am feeling. Basically, he knows my heart….all of it. I know that I am loved, I know that I am taken care of and I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, that I can and will overcome all the things that I face daily. Christ loves each of us more than we could ever phantom. He wants to transform us, to make us more like Him. He doesn’t like it when we are unhappy or feeling sad about life because it is not His plan for us. Yes, we have hard times in life but in those hard times, we are to still rejoice for He has already gone and prepared an eternal place for us. All we have to do is just serve Him while we are here on this earth and be a light unto others.
Now, I don’t know too much but I do know that before I can find my way, that I have to just be still and hear His voice speak to me. Sometimes that requires us to stay in constant prayer, to put aside other things that distract us from having that time (like a pity party 😉 ) and just seek out His will for us. I was doing some reading earlier and I come across this scripture which is very fitting :
“If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” Ether 12:27
When I think of the atonement and what it means to me in relation to this verse, I think that it means Jesus Christ is transforming me from my weaknesses so that He may prepare me for a testimony that I can share with others. My weakness lately has been doubt and worry. I am sure there are a few others in there too but for now, I am giving you these. He is going to make me strong in these areas so that I am not going to worry, I am not going to have doubt, I am not going to have a pity party because He has heard my cry that I don’t want to do that anymore. So that is what it is all about…transformation even when the pain of life is getting to you. You are growing, you are learning and you are finding your way closer to God. I am so thankful for this life I have and I am going to let what I know from my past just fade away because although it has shaped me into who I am, it doesn’t hold me anymore….I am being transformed from all that, to what my Father in heaven wants me to be which is like Him. Christ like. How do I know this? Because I brought it to Him and laid it at His feet, I was baptized and forgiven…it was all cleansed by His blood. It is worth it to me now to go through some of this in order to be closer to Him and grow. I know that if my God is with me, then whom shall I fear? No one, not anything. He has carried me through all the other storms in my life and He will carry me through this one as well. I see a light coming, I see a vision of good things for me and my kids….I see it and I believe it.
May God bless you with whatever you are going through and may you also know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, that all of your sins have been forgiven and you may have eternal life. You are worthy of the life and happiness that God wants you to have…we all are. I love you, Christ loves you and I hope that my blog post today has helped someone else see that we don’t have to do it all alone.
Love, Hugs & Smiles 🙂