I always enjoy writing about life, the people I have met along my own personal journey and strangers. We all have an account of where we have been, a hope (or vision) of where we are going and a desire to surpass the days end with a deeper understanding of who we are.
As a flight attendant who gets to travel to many places throughout the United States, Canada, and the Caribbean, I see it all. There are many people traveling for a multitude of reasons. The airport is filled with reunions. Loved ones hugging and crying with joy, sad goodbye’s, Soldiers leaving their families, single mom’s traveling with little ones, families going on vacation, first time fliers, international travelers on foreign soil, passengers who are traveling for medical care and the list is endless. On any given day, you will see it from one extreme to another. It makes me think a lot about my own family. Not just my children at home but my parents, my sisters, my step siblings, my nieces and nephews…you get the idea.
Twenty-five years ago, I left my small foothills hometown in North Carolina. The memories of leaving are still fresh in my mind like it was yesterday. I was a sinking ship. So, I ran. It was freeing, it was refreshing and it was convenient. Easy. That is what I wanted…easy. As life begin to happen in another small town, deep inside of my soul I felt trapped. That sinking ship I was talking about earlier? It was just the beginning and it lasted for almost twenty plus years.
Life really started to change for me the year I knew I wanted to break away from being a full time hairstylist and become a flight attendant. My personality is not one that allows to be boxed in or compartmentalize. I have always had a natural love for my wanderlust mentality, free spirit and who can deny my insanely outgoing personality! So yep, you guessed it..this girl was always chasing something, always needing to feel complete somehow, needing to just feel something that wouldn’t let me go. As I embarked on my career as a flight attendant, have the experiences I have had, traveled to other countries, I discovered one very important missing piece of the puzzle in my life. It was home. I also gained a deeper understanding of having a relationship with God.
I have missed my hometown for a long time. I have fought it beyond any inner demon in my life. Many times I felt God speak to me and tell me I needed to go home. I would fight Him on it like a toddler having a temper tantrum in the aisle of the supermarket. Pssshhhtttt…what was He thinking? How could I go home again? It had been so long. I don’t even know my own family anymore, much less friends. Nope. Not going, digging my heels in and I am staying in the city. I like the city. I feel somewhat loved yet lost here. It’s a nice balance of the love/hate relationship I had developed. Love it because I felt free here, hated it because in the same breath, I felt trapped, lonely. Oh, I know..makes no sense but if you have ever been in the complexities of my life in the past, you would understand.
It’s no secret that I am a believer in God. I have been a believer since I was eight years old. I remember my first Bible given to me by my daddy, with my name on it. That was only one of many Bibles I have collected over the years. Being a believer is easy but actually having a relationship with God was harder. As I have been traveling and seeing many aspects of my own life change over the past three years, it has become more evident that God is calling me home. He is calling me back to my small, foothills, North Carolina town. To be with my parents, to mend relationships with my siblings and parents, to heal a wound that has been opened for a long time….twenty-five years to be exact. This time, I am not resisting.
Talk about a freeing, refreshing and peaceful feeling. I have no words for it. I am not the same person I was all those years ago..none of us are. We all change, we all evolve and we all have to make peace in our lives. This is not up to anyone else to decide if I am ready or not, this is between me and God. That is all that matters and when you have enough faith to trust that, then amazing things can happen…even miracles.
I finally figured out that God could use me in ways that I can’t begin to imagine right now and that place is in my hometown. Isn’t it beautiful when He has a better plan for us? When He tells us (and shows us) that He has exactly what we need…just trust Him.
My little family has two more weeks here in the city before we start a new year, back where I left it all behind so long ago. We are ready as a family, to follow this new journey in our lives. We are strong, we are grounded and we are a team with an unbreakable bond. It will be different, it will be humbling and it will be teaching us more about humility as we seek to make a new beginning. Family is precious, it is a gift that God gave us and we are to protect that. I am looking forward to mending and building on relationships that have been buried for a long time. I no longer feel like a sinking ship, I no longer feel burdened, I no longer feel afraid. My peace within is worth more than any other journey I have been on.
Peace, Love & Happiness