Feelings Aren’t Always Your’s To Keep

Sunday mornings. Something about them keep me thinking more deeply than most days. This morning I woke up from a bad dream that felt so real and I have not been able to shake it. I got up, put my hair in a ponytail, lit some candles and sat down with my breakfast, my music and here I am…channeling my thoughts once again.

It’s no secret that I have a deep soul. Sharing that part of who I am is like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon. It is freeing to me and it’s like spreading my wings in life, love, wisdom, spirituality and none of that comes without some level of sacrifice. Why ‘sacrifice’ you ask? We all sacrifice a part of us when we are open with our thoughts, feelings and the emotions of this life. For some, they may build walls so high in their life that they may never come down but for someone like me, the walls are down. Come to think of it, I am not sure they ever got built.

All my life I have been a very open person. The knowledge of why I have been that way is baffling to me because there are times I wish I didn’t share so much of myself to those who don’t really need to know…but do they? Do they deserve that level of my soul that reaches way down deep to the very core that can shake you? Yes. Yes they do. I have always said that God designed us to need each other. It is the human composition of who we are…you know, feelings, thoughts, emotions. We all have them regardless of how good we are at letting others see them, feel them or even share them. Sharing who you are, letting your walls come down (if you have them) and letting someone be a part of who you are is never a bad thing. Maybe someone needs a little of what you have on the inside. Could they learn from your good nature, your gentle spirit and your loving heart that see’s the world in a different way? Yes they could. No lesson that you project to others is ever a lesson wasted, especially when it consist of being a positive light unto others.

Not all are great at sharing who they are with others. I don’t think it is because they have anything to hide or need to be secretive but I think it is because life has beaten them down so badly that they are afraid to be open with anyone. They are afraid of letting themselves be open again, to be too vulnerable to the wrong person. For those of you out there who ridicule those for their own feelings or make someone feel crazy for thinking they could trust anyone, thanks a lot (insert sarcasm). You totally ruined it for the rest of us who are standing here waiting, with open arms and an unconditional love of understanding and big ole hugs!

  So where am I really going with all this? I am not sure but I knew it needed to be written, to be shared. That is what writing is all about anyway. My heart, my mind and the way I feel about life will not allow me to not share. What a tragedy to think that what we have on the inside of us is not worthy enough to share with others. Such a loss of what God gave us which is a beautiful mind, a soul capable of so much more and two loving arms to embrace another human being who needs us. How dare any of us to sit back and think that because one’s life situations are on the far end of the spectrum of ours, that we can’t learn from them. The drug addict, the one who just can’t seem to get it together, the single parent, the jobless, the homeless, the divorced, the one who is angry at life, the non believer, the believer, the one with a different lifestyle than yours…you see what I am getting at don’t you? We all are the same by one common thread…WE ALL FEEL SOMETHING.

The connections we make with people are so important. We don’t know the outcome of where that will lead but should we let it stop us? No, we shouldn’t because we can always learn something from someone. It is risky being this way. I know it better than anyone but I have never let it stop me. How else would I learn not only about myself but about someone else? Relationships of any level are so important to nurture because once again, we all feel something. Don’t let the moment pass you by. We are not promised tomorrow or even the next hours for that matter. This life is long and it is hard on some days. Take a chance and let the walls come down. Share with the world the beautiful soul that you are no matter how broken you may feel. You can still be broken and shine at the same time. I know because I am that way every single day but God has given me such strength to be more than I was the day before. 

If you are reading this blog and it has touched your life in some way or inspired you to dig a little deeper into your soul, to tear down the walls or share more of who you are then that is all I wanted from this today. You are loved, you are beautiful, you are amazing and you are original. I know some days you may feel damned if you do and damned if you don’t but muster up that courage and keep going! Don’t let the thought of sharing who you are with others, keep you from being more than your circumstances.

Peace, Love & Hugs

Christian ♥


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