What A Confident Woman Looks Like

We all know them…the women who are fearless, confident, strong-willed, ambitious, passionate and just a tad bit of sassy. After having gone through two marriages before I was 27 years old, I have learned the true value of self-love and self-worth. I am now 43 and more in love with myself than I have ever been before.

Nothing can break your spirit more than rejection. It is painful, it hurts and it can lead you to make spur of the moment decisions just so you can feel something. We have all done it so don’t think you are an exception to the rule. I was that kind of person several years ago, and especially after two marriages but as I become more of a woman in my years, searched more for God and embraced motherhood, it all started to turn itself around. I was learning to be more than a confident woman and more in love with myself than ever before.

So let me clarify a few things for the women out there who need to understand what it means to have confidence and self-love. First of all, nothing can control you if you choose not to let it. Have you ever seen a confident woman broken down by someone else’s criticism or their lack of interest in what they are doing? Confident women do not need validation in their lives. You seek all you need from the self-love you have discovered from you guessed it…..TIME ALONE. Not time alone wallowing in self-pity but time in searching your own soul, what makes you happy and what gives you purpose.

We’re constantly making evaluations for what things mean and what we should do. The more empowering questions we ask ourselves, the more confident we will be. If you ask non-empowering questions like, “Why does this always happen to me?” your mind will come up with an answer. In  contrast, ask, “What am I happy about now? What could I be happy about if I wanted to?” Or if there is a problem, ask, “What is great about this problem? What can I feel grateful for?” Then you can shift into the confidence required to solve it. When empowering questions become second nature, you have no choice but to find confidence-inducing answers.

It all seems so simple doesn’t it? If only we could all apply this to our daily lives and the interactions we have with people then it could be a smooth ride in life. The reality of all this is that it requires work from within yourself. Only you can be your biggest cheerleader, your biggest motivation and your most amazing fan in life. You do not need anyone else to validate who you are or why you exist or what your purpose is. This is why I am still single and loving it because I do not seek my validation in anyone. If someone comes along that compliments my personality and my lifestyle then that is awesome but until that time, I refuse to settle just for the sake of not being alone.

It has taken me a long time to be the woman I am now and I love her very much. I embrace all aspects of my life and I never settle for anything that I feel is less than deserving for myself or my little family. Confusing my assurance of who I am with arrogance is a mistake on anyone’s part for I will never apologize for knowing who I am, what I desire and what I will pursue in life. I have never faced a situation that I feel I won’t make it out with a greater knowledge and understanding of life. There is always a lesson that can be learned but what you choose to take from those lessons are solely up to you and not anyone else.

There are people who don’t understand me and while sometimes I do feel misunderstood, I keep pursuing on regardless because I surround myself with those who totally get me and love my eclectic personality. I don’t belong to anyone one group or type of people. I enjoy all things that stimulate my mind and keep me entertained. Yes, I can get bored easily but that is just who I am. It is actually a positive thing in my life for I am always learning new things and exploring new adventures.

Nothing drives me more than being a strong, independent woman who is bulletproof in this life. I have been hurt more times than one can count but I never let that stop me from being the kind, loving and caring spirit that I am. Who has time for being jaded?! It causes wrinkles and ruins your mascara…lol.

I know that God called me to come back to the western part of North Carolina, my hometown, to not only be with my parents, but to make a difference in lives. It is a gift of compassion that I have been given and it reaches further than my own imagination at times. I will embrace each day here and learn to make the best of any situation. I am loving the new discoveries and who know’s where this journey will lead me but I know that I will keep smiling, living and make the most of every mile I travel in this life.

Peace, Love & Happiness

Christian ♥


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