Catching My Breath, Flights and Letting Go

airplanechristian

The question I hear most often is ‘Are you not afraid to fly?’. Easily and with no hesitation I always reply with, ‘Not at all’. There is something about being a flight attendant that is often hard for me to put into words for others to understand. I guess that is why I have my blog. It is my therapy for the world I live in.

I am usually scheduled a four day block time about four to five times a month. We call those pairings. On a single day, we can have anywhere from two flight legs up to five flight legs. It just depends on how the trip is built from scheduling and for operational needs. Destinations, delays, maintenance issues, catering issues and even those passengers who can be challenging, make every moment interesting. It changes you and you truly are never the same.

What I realized early in my life of aviation, is that when I am up there, in the skies with beautiful views of God’s amazing creation, I feel free. Free from a world that has grown shallow and mean. Free from the things that burden me. Free from a lot of things. I enjoy my work so much and it’s really not work…at least it isn’t for me. It’s a place where I love to go (no matter what the destination) and if only for a little bit, I feel like I can breathe again. The saying is that life is easier in the air. For those of you who don’t do this job, it is probably hard for you to resonate with that statement.

While the job isn’t as glamorous as it once was, it is still the best job I have ever had.

When you are out there flying, you are always reminded of the dream you pursued and are living. All the commuting, meeting up with my crew for the first flight of the day, preparing the aircraft for our first set of passengers, dragging all that luggage around with me…I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I was once told that I would never amount to anything other than a hairstylist. I get a giggle at that when it pops in my head like a reminder of a bad tooth ache. I went after my dreams, I pushed through and I pursued what others said I couldn’t do.

There is no other flexible job than being a flight attendant. Hard to believe huh? It is never the same. It changes with every flight leg, with every city and every overnight. I wake up in a different city three times, sometimes four, during the course of a trip. I do miss my family very much but I also know that I am making the right choice in the job that I had chosen. I fought hard for my wings, I stayed true to my passion even on the days I thought that maybe I should give up. I was often my own worst enemy.

We all have that darker place in ourselves that may make us feel like we can’t catch a breath sometimes. We are human after all..so it’s natural right? How do we get around that? How do we process the places that make us so vulnerable in life? We love, we lose, we feel defeated, we experience happiness, sadness, disappointment, satisfaction and so much more. Our hearts and our minds are a kaleidoscope of emotions. When I feel like life is overwhelming me, I really just want to fly. We all have our own outlets in life. For me, it just happens to also be my job.

With the death of my nephew, came a new perspective for me when it comes to flying. I feel so close to him up there. When I go to work, I feel like I am being reunited with him. Is that weird for me to say? Eeeehh…I don’t know but when you have lost someone you love and then you get to see the beauty above the clouds, it is the closest thing to heaven that I feel one can get. If I have time to look out the window and catch those awesome views, I whisper ‘We all love and miss you’. It is my comfort. It carries me through. It is my therapy, like writing.

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“Forget yesterday, It has already forgotten you”

My body display’s a tattoo of a woman (who represents me) and she is riding a butterfly. In her raised hand is a scarf flowing behind her, a symbolization of letting go. The butterfly is a symbolization of taking her on a new path in this journey of life. With every journey, she lets go…a little at the time. Flying is like that for me as well. With every take off, I sit in my jump-seat, secure and ready to be airborne. A deep breath with a slow exhale, letting something go.

Peace, Love & Hugs

Christian ♥

 

 

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