Before I Die, I Want To Fall In Love. On a layover in San Antonio, I come across the Before I Die wall as I was walking downtown near the River Walk. It is a global art project that invites people to reflect on their lives and share their personal aspirations in public. There was no hesitation to take my aspiration and put it out there publicly, with no name attached and set it free. I wrote that I wanted to fall in love. Not infatuation, but real, genuine, kind, gracious and precious love. Love that is cherished and treated with respect. Love that is given unconditionally and accepted for what it is, without trying to change someone. Love that made you feel better about who you were and inspired you to be better than you were the day before. I wrote ‘I want to fall in love’, took a step back, looked at my words so meticulously placed with all the other’s aspirations, exhaled and walked away with hope. Hope that someone out there could get me. That they could understand a heart like mine and I could understand theirs. That was two years ago. I am still going on hope (and prayers) and staying positive.
It’s no secret that many flight attendants are single. I work with a lot of awesome people who are smart, beautiful, talented, caring and have AH-MAY-ZING personalities. Some are married and some are single. We come from an array of backgrounds, cultures and life-style’s yet we all have one common ground when it comes to relationships…we want to be loved for exactly who we are and we are flight attendants. Funny, insanely hilarious story tellers, quick witted, passionate, inspiring, courageous, wanderlusters, jack of all trades..masters of none and much, much more. Did I mention how much fun we are?
So why are some of us still single? I have to tell you, upon speaking to some of my colleagues in the industry, it has nothing to do with who we are as a person. It has a lot to do with finding the person who can accept our lifestyle. We are well-traveled and we can find our way out of an airport or any city blindfolded because we are conditioned to the environment that we eat, sleep and breathe…literally.
I fly for a regional airline (blog coming later on regional vs mainline) and I am never more than a few hours from home. I fly domestic, Canada, Caribbean and Mexico destinations. Glamorous? I guess that depends on who you ask. I don’t feel that my job is glamorous but it is one that gives me purpose and I enjoy it very much. It is my passion. For me, dating someone who understands that about me is very important. There is no room for bargaining on that understanding because if they can’t see that and support that, then it will be a difficult road to go down.
Traveling from city to city, working 12-14 hour duty days, delays, boring layovers, exciting and fun layovers, rude passengers, fun passengers…we see it all and then some. At the end of the day we deplane, head to ground transportation, pile up in the hotel shuttle like a band of traveling gypsies and we are off to our little home away from home. Some hotels, I am there so much that I know the staff and they know me. Some hotels, I don’t even leave the property and some hotels, I can’t wait to leave and go explore the city we are in. It is never the same no matter the day. Keeping up with me is a full time job or you just have to accept the fact that you can’t keep up with me when I am working. Before you get out of bed and start your day, I have already completed about half of my day and been to another time zone.
The one thing that does remain the same is that if you are single, you long for that connection in some weird way. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t go to my room with my head hung down and feeling sad or lonely for myself. It is just a thought that comes to my mind of ‘Hey, I wish I had someone to call and talk to about my day’. My kids are awesome about listening to my endless rambling but if there is a significant someone…it takes on a different meaning. We don’t need answers or a solution. We just need to vent, share a funny story or something that really inspired us.
One of our greatest attributes, is that we are not clingy nor are we needy. We do just fine navigating through life independently. We want someone who is the same. The ideal partner see’s us as strong, independent souls who want you and not need you. There is a difference. We sacrifice a lot by being away from our families so when we add a partner to our lives, you can rest assure that we will give you our undivided attention when we are home. When at work? We love that connection. The phone calls, the text, the ‘I miss you’ sentiment…it all counts for us. All of it. That may be the only thing we cling to…knowing that we have something to look forward to when our trip is over.
Understanding who we are as cabin crew, our crazy schedules, being all over the place…it is a lot to keep up with. It isn’t for everyone. It takes someone who is dedicated, committed and willing to not smother us. Maybe this is why we have a hard time trying to get to that place in life where we are comfortable with someone. I fall short of saying we are searching because then that makes one seem desperate. I guess you will know who that person is when you meet them. You can tell in conversation and interactions if they are going to be able to handle your job, your lifestyle and all that comes with the life we live. It is a pretty big package deal. If they stay, keep them. Cherish them and hold onto them for they are rare, just like we are.
If you find yourself entertaining the thought of dating a flight attendant, here are a few things to help you understand us more ~
We will always cherish our time with you. Always. We will never take our time with you for granted. Not ever.
We enjoy our sleep. Especially the first day of being home. Let us have some sleep, a hot shower and a hot meal and we are good for anything. We just need to recharge for a bit.
If we seem zoned out the first 24 hours, it is totally normal. We are decompressing from the previous days of flying. It is much-needed for our own health and your’s too…lol.
If anyone understands your alone time, it is us. Our job has conditioned us to be alone a lot so we get it more than you realize. We often need that time as well. It’s natural and very normal.
No one will value you anymore than a flight attendant. We often deal with upset passengers so it is easy for us to stop, listen, giving you our undivided attention. We genuinely care for our passengers and it is the same way with our personal relationships. We may not have the answers but we are listening.
We love simplicity. Our schedule and our lives can be very hectic so when we are presented with even the smallest of tiny gestures, we indulge in them with gratitude.
You will never be at a loss for conversation. We are experts at talking to strangers about anything under the sun. That is also true in our personal lives.
Like to travel? We have you covered! You will be able to travel on our benefits and not to mention how much we can teach you about proper packing, flying, the world, different cultures and different cities. It is like World Culture 101 without the college loan…lol. We are great teachers 😉
Last but not least, when we love..we love with our whole hearts and more compassion than you can ever imagine. We are unique in who we are and boredom is not in our vocabulary. We can always find something to entertain us or we can be just as happy sitting at home chilling out with the ones we love. Fun is what we are. Adventurous and spontaneous. The time you invest into a relationship with a flight attendant is well worth it. The only thing I didn’t tell you is that it may not be easy (schedules, distance, away from home) but I can tell you that it will be worth it. The ones whom you think aren’t always easy to love, are the ones worth holding onto.
Peace, Love & Hugs