Something about rainy days inspires me to write. I don’t know if it takes me back to the cozy corners of cafe’s in Amsterdam or the comfort of the quiet that seems to come with it. Whatever it is, it is calming to me. Relaxing. It puts my mind in a place of deeper thought and that in turn, stimulates a new blog post.
I am sure if you keep up with my blogs, you will see that I write about the things that I am passionate about – Truth, Love, Humanity, Acceptance.
In the ten weeks I have been out of work due to a back injury, I have had to do a lot of self reflecting. I was doubting the place I moved to, doubting the people around me and even doubting myself. In the midst of trials, I see how God can change who you are, what you think and what you feel. The trick? You have to let Him. I wasn’t (and haven’t) been so open to that. I had my own agenda. My own ideas. My own plan. None of that worked. As a matter of fact, it failed miserably. Miserably I tell you.
As I begin to dig deeper into my own self motives, my own purpose and see what the real root of my problem was – it was an eye opener for me. I was being selfish and stubborn about God’s plan for me.
So here I am, the first day of September 2017 and I have a multitude of blessings to be thankful for. We have finally settled into a home. For the first time in five, long years, I have all of my items out of a box. Nothing in storage, nothing packed away. I have made a home for my children. A home for those who seek refuge and love. A place where I can share the comforts and warmth of family. To tell you how that all come about – I will just save that for my book. It is part of the story. A rattling, good story filled with love, loss, happiness, sadness, pain, sorrow, faith, grace, dignity and so much more.
Today, I sit here in the comforts of my home, listening to the rain outside, the faded sounds of my favorite tunes in the background and I am in a very good place in my life. Tonight is our first movie night in our home, hosting friends and loved ones. We are excited to fill it with happiness, laughter and fun! I never thought I would feel that way while living here.
My move here was to be closer to my family. Unfortunately, that has not gone the way I had hoped. I was sad about it for a long time. It sent me into a depressive state of mind. It hurt. As time went on and I begin to pray about things, I realized that maybe my purpose was not to move here for them. Maybe my purpose was to be here to serve others. To be a light for someone else. Each day we are here, we are making the best of our lives. We are living. We are loving and we are sharing.
If you are in a place where you feel defeated, frustrated and unsure – I urge you to look around and count the smallest blessings. Shoes on your feet? Count that. Clothes to wear? Count that. Food to eat? Count that. People who love you? Count that. You see, it doesn’t have to have a designer label or a title attached to it – It just has to be the smallest exhibition of faith, love and hope. That is all you need. God will take care of the rest.
Peace, Love & Happiness